Barbie Spice
by BloodyMarry
Summary: Emmett and Jasper have to watch Bella. Remotes explode. Pipes are thrown. Hoods are jumped on. And laughter and ridiculous amounts of random hilarity ensue. Beware.


Barbie Spice

**EMJEMJ**

_Ping._

"Goal," Bella said with a huff as she dropped herself back on the luxurious couch behind her.

She was being babysat once again.

Well sort of…

Emmett and Jasper were supposed to be watching her. But they were out in the garage working on cars. She hadn't thought that Jasper was actually really interested in cars, but she was sure that he didn't want to be stuck inside with her.

She was boring. Or just extremely bored.

She folded another piece of small paper and held it between her thumb and pointer finger before using her other free finger to flick the small skewed looking triangle shape into the crystal bowl.

_Ping._

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. She'd had all day to practice her aim, and unlike her ability to miss step, she had perfected the art of paper football. She thought with some amusement that maybe she should practice walking, perhaps she'd trip a lot less.

Doubtful. But it was worth a try, especially since there was nothing else to do.

She stood and moved to the slightly elevated floor where Edward's piano sat. She looked down at her feet and walked around the room slowly, she lifted her hands and stood on her tip-toes pretending she was a trapeze artist.

Her fingers moved over the smooth, and sleek feeling black piano, and ran her fingers over the keys. She moved slowly over to the two steps that lead into the main entrance hallway to the house. She balance on the one closest to the floor and closed her eyes pretending she was above a huge net in a circus.

_Bang!_

Bella's eyes shot open and she squeaked before she lost her balance and toppled onto the floor.

Laughter from the garage could be heard from where she sat on the floor mumbling curses and holding her now sore wrist.

She grimaced when she tried to stand, she should have known she would have ended up hurting herself. Danger magnet that she was, she was more accident prone than…Something extremely accident prone.

She was about to yell at the two vampire's in the garage when she heard yelling and something else clang as it hit the floor. Her eyes widened and she sent a worrying glance to the garage door in the kitchen.

"Guys?" she called, but suddenly the shouting became louder, it sounded like someone was in pain!

She jumped up from the floor, she stumbled and almost hit the floor face first but she managed to pull out of her face plant to continue running. She hit the small door in her efforts to stop, she'd slid across the kitchen tiles in her socks, and then grabbed the door handle to pull it open.

She almost screamed when she heard a shriek echo throughout the humungous garage.

"Emmett!…Jasp--er…" her voice died in her throat and she almost tripped down the few small cement stairs leading into the garage full of cars. And squabbling vampires.

"I can't believe you changed it!" Jasper shouted in his bigger brother's face. Emmett grinned and held a small black remote above his head, while he stood on the tips of his booted toes.

"Give it back, Emmett," Jasper said in an irritated tone. Emmett stuck his tongue out and waved the remote above the motionless Jasper, who if he were human would have no chance of getting the remote away from Emmett.

"I'm tired of listening to them! I needed to change it," Emmett's deep voice seemed to raise in pitch and in desperation. Bella's eyes went wide when she finally heard some of what had been contributing to the noise.

"What in the world…" she said under her breath, so low that neither of the vampire's heard them over their shouting and the racket blaring from the stereo speakers surrounding the garage, high on the walls.

"How could you get tired of listening to _them_!" Jasper said in a voice that sounded shockingly like a _whine_.

"I've had enough Spice for one day, thank you," Emmett said as he saw Jasper get ready to jump for the remote. His large hand crushed it in one quick movement.

Bella heard Jasper growl and then practically pounce on Emmett.

The small human girl's eyes watered as she hadn't been able to blink for fear of missing any moment of the confrontation. She almost collapsed into giggles, but she forced herself to run over to the wrestling vampire instead.

"I'm a _Bar_--!" Emmett began to sing, but Jasper pulled back his fist and punched him in the face. Emmett gave a grunt and then tossed Jasper off of him. Bella screamed and waved her arms around at the shouting men.

"Stop! Will you two just stop! You're acting like children!" Bella said as she picked up a few pieces of the crushed clicker before flinging them at the two men.

Jasper looked shocked at her entrance but he didn't pause in his efforts, "He crushed it on purpose, Bella!" Jasper shouted as he pointed an accusing finger at the smirking Emmett who still lay on the floor, only now he was leaning back on his elbows with his eyes closed as he sang alone with the song now playing.

"You mean you changed the song to this, and then crushed the turner?" Bella asked giving Emmett a slightly frightened glance before glaring at the speakers around her.

"He changed my favorite song," Jasper said as he crossed his arms over his chest childishly, before staring at Bella waiting for her to avenge him.

"It's a stupid song," Emmett said sticking his tongue out when Bella wasn't looking.

Jasper growled again and took a step closer to Emmett, Bella immediately stepped in front of them, she put her hands out and pressed them to Jasper's hard chest.

"You love the song, but you're just pissed that I punched you," Jasper said defending the song.

"What song is it _exactly_?" Bella asked, Jasper seemed taken aback for a moment, but he answered, though he didn't seem to have the courage to look at her.

Jasper mumbled something and Emmett couldn't help but burst out into a fit of giggles (though very manly giggles, of course), that were practically louder then the screaming and screeching noises coming out of the speakers around them.

"What?" Bella asked, not having heard.

"Spice Girls…_Wannabe_," if at all possible Emmett's laughter only got louder. Jasper looked flustered, but he stood his ground, still not looking at Bella though. She tried her hardest to repress her laughter but it wasn't really working.

When Jasper seemed to get even more upset by the silence she felt sudden guilt, she picked up the nearest pipe and flung it at the still laughing Emmett. She knew it wouldn't hurt him but it would get her point across. He only laughed even harder.

She took a step closer to Jasper and pat his shoulder a few times, "We all love the Spice Girls, don't worry Jasper," she tried to console though it was getting harder and harder not to at least crack up a little.

"They're better than _Aqua_," Jasper hissed over her shoulder at his vampire brother who lay on the ground rolling around laughing, clutching at his sides as if he were in pain.

Emmett suddenly stopped when he caught the jab, he looked highly offended for a moment. With a scowl he took the pipe Bella had thrown at him and stood to threaten Jasper.

"_I'm a Barbie Girl _is better than any stupid Spice Girl's song! And you know it," he bared his fangs as the song he had spoken about rang throughout the room.

"Not hardly," Jasper said in a cold voice, though his eyes looked pleased that he'd finally gotten to Emmett. Bella sighed and tried to hold her ground standing between them. They looked ready to kill each other.

There had to be some way to defuse the situation, but she didn't know what exactly to say. Her mind searched frantically to find the perfect thing that would calm them both down.

"Em, Jasper, please stop being…" suddenly the chorus hit and she was forced to stop talking, she wouldn't have been heard over the screeching of _I'm a Barbie Girl, In the Barbie World!…_

Suddenly a thought struck her and she smiled evilly over at Emmett, "So…" she drew the word out dramatically, "Em, I had no idea you were a _Barbie Girl_. I wonder what Rose'll think of this new development," Jasper immediately burst into laughter and pointed at the flustered Emmett. He dropped the pipe and crouched down like he was going to tackle Bella.

Her eyes went wide and she squeaked a little, "You _so _did not just go there," she raised both her eyebrows and shrugged at the large vampire. He growled low in his chest, and as the song ended she could hear it clearly, she gasped dramatically and then moved quickly to stand behind Jasper in an overly theatrical escape.

"He made me do it!" she squeaked from behind the shaking vampire, it was his turn to laugh hysterically at his brother.

Emmett moved quickly but he wasn't using his usual vampire speed so she managed to hop onto Jasper's back and force him to run away from Emmett.

"Run!" she screamed in a high pitched and slightly thrilled voice, frightened of being caught.

Jasper hoped onto Emmett's jeep and the vampire froze, "Don't hurt it!" he said as _Barbie Girl _began again on repeat.

"Come and get us, _Barbie Girl_!" Bella shouted over Jasper's shoulder. Jasper roared with laughter as he jumped off the car and ran into the house, with a wrathful Emmett hot on their trail.

"Go! God, _GO_!" Bella shouted as she buried her face in Jasper's neck and held tightly to him. They made it out of the kitchen, into the hallway, and then into the entrance room where a set of curving stairs laid against the furthest wall. They were more than halfway up the steps when it happened.

A hand reached out and brushed her leg, Bella screamed, the loudest scream she'd ever screamed, making Jasper falter in his running and trip on the last step. She laughed, but it was garbled because of her continued screaming, when Emmett's hand reached out again and grabbed her foot to pulled her into his strong and bear-like arms.

"You're going to regret calling me a _Barbie Girl_, Bell," she screamed again when he tossed her over his shoulder. The next time she screamed it was because she was actually frightened he'd jumped from the second story to the first.

"You jerk!" she said between giggles as she clutched at the back of his shirt.

"You were the one singing the song!" she said when he picked her up off his shoulder, his shirt ripped in the back but he ignored it as he laughed.

"You're going to get it!" Bella screamed for Jasper but he was too busy rolling around on the stairs laughing at the both of them.

"Em!" she screamed as his cool hands came down on her sides in a ruthless show of retribution, she squirmed and even kicked as his fingers moved to all her most tickle-sensitive spots. She flailed her limbs trying to get him off but it was all for naught, he was too strong.

"Say Uncle!" he asked through his and Jasper's booming laughter. Bella was crying now, and her throat hurt from her screaming and laughing, but she just shook her head unwilling to loose.

"A _Barbie Girl_," she gasped for air and giggled once again, "Isn't going to make me," her eyes went wide and she practically sobbed when he got a particularly bad spot on her side, "-I Surrender!"

He finally couldn't take it anymore, and he flipped over onto his back and held his muscled middle as the laughter became almost painful. Bella collapsed fully on the floor practically on top of Emmett in a pile of limbs and laughter as she cried, because she was laughing so hard.

"What in the name of…?" Bella looked up from her place on Emmett's large chest to see Edward staring down at them both with a perfectly arched eyebrow.

Bella heard Jasper collapse in another fit of uncontrollable laughter, and she couldn't help but lose it as she buried her face in Emmett's chest, despite the pain it created when her laughter reached new heights.

"We came back early…" Edward said as he looked up to the steps when Jasper was clutching the staircase like his life depended on it. He was at least trying to stop laughing now, whereas Bella and Emmett couldn't seem to stop.

"We didn't expect that you'd all be doing…" Bella heard Alice say as she slowly approached the staircase staring up at Jasper as if he'd lost it, though there was a bright and curious smile on her pixie-like face.

"….Whatever it is, that you're doing," Rosalie finished as she stood by Edward looking down at Bella and Emmett.

The grizzly loving vampire finally opened his eyes and grinned up at his wife, "It was her fault, I swear," Bella lifted a hand and smacked Emmett's marble hard chest. She made a sound of some pain in the back of her throat before rolling onto her back, off of Emmett finally.

"Oh, Edward," she said trying to catch her breath, it was a little difficult, but she managed. She couldn't even see through her bleary tear clogged eyes, but for some reason it only seemed to make things funnier.

"You should have seen it," she said trying and failing to sit up to get to him. And being the gentleman that he was, Edward moved to kneel down in front of her so that he could take her hands to help her sit up.

"Emmett's a _Barbie Girl_!" she said before bursting out again in laughter. She squealed and launched herself at Edward's chest when she heard Emmett growl and half heartedly reach for her legs.

"A _what_?" Rosalie said raising a thing, and beautifully arched pale eyebrow down at her husband. Emmett just groaned, and tried to suppress both embarrassment and even more laughter.

**EMJEMJ**

-End

**A/N: **I love Emmett, and I love Jasper, I thought I'd give them a little break from the serious and tedious task of being…serious and tedious. haha I love the idea of them having to baby-sit Bella, and so this silliness ensued. I hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it!

This is my first Twilight story, though I am working on another one as we speak!

I am disclaiming here, I don't own anything Twilight…Except my copies of the books. J

_I hope you decide to review!_

.Bloody.


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